The first thing to know about being 90 is that none of us who have lived to be 90 ever expected to do so. I was born in 1927. The idea that I would live to a year that started with 20 was beyond my belief. Living to 90 is like winning a lottery that I didn鈥檛 even know I had a ticket for.
The second thing to know is that the question 鈥淲hat is the secret of living to 90?鈥� is a dumb question, 聽because an honest answer is “Just lucky I guess,” or “Just unlucky I guess,” depending on how you feel on a given day.
The third thing to know is that people who are 90 do not appreciate it when they complain about infirmities and aches and pains and someone says, 鈥淲hat do you expect? You’re 90 years old!鈥濃�攅specially when that person is a doctor.
Another dumb question to ask a 90- year-old is “How are you doing?鈥� especially when the person asking is your doctor. 鈥淵ou tell me,鈥� I respond.
You would be amazed at how many doctors we 90-year-olds are supporting. There鈥檚 a different one for everything that ails you. Starting at the top, I see a neurologist, a pain specialist, an ophthalmologist, an ear, nose, and throat doctor, a dentist, dermatologist, a radiologist, a pneumonologist, a cardiologist, a nephrologist, a urologist, a gerontologist, a gastroenterologist,聽 an internist, a hematologist, a knee聽 surgeon, and a podiatrist. They care for me from head to foot. And each gives me pills to take. I even take pills for the pills that make me drowsy and pills for those that keep me awake at night. And none of the doctors seem to know that the knee bone鈥檚 connected to the leg bone. . . .
With knee replacements, hip replacements, various transplants, root canals and tooth implants, there鈥檚 not much left of the original equipment by the time you are 90. And it鈥檚 the parts you didn鈥檛 know you had that give you the most trouble.
Another thing that people say those who are 90 don鈥檛 appreciate is 鈥淗ey, you鈥檙e looking great,鈥� 聽which we know either means 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 know you were still alive鈥� or 鈥淚 could hardly recognize you, you 聽look so old and shriveled.鈥� At 90 you stop looking like your father and look more like your grandfather.
You may have noticed I stopped numbering things to know鈥攁nyway I forgot what number I was on鈥� but memory starts working funny when you are 90. I don鈥檛 mean those people who can鈥檛 remember anything. I mean remembering everything and constantly feeling the need to tell it to everybody.聽 I remember when gas cost 25 cents a gallon. I remember listening to the radio.聽 I remember people you never heard of. Did you know that I met鈥擨 forget his name but鈥攈e was that guy who鈥擨 forget what I was going to say.
At 90 some things that you always took for granted鈥攍ike going to the toilet鈥攂ecome major events in your day. Why do you think they call old people Alta Cockers in Yiddish? 聽Getting dressed is a major achievement. Getting from bed to walker or wheelchair or wheelchair to car鈥攁nother big event. At 90 I own two walkers, three scooters, and a wheel chair. 聽I鈥檝e turned all my friends and relatives into pushers.
At 90, even your great grandchildren have heard all your jokes and they give you the hand motion that means we鈥檝e heard it already and besides you told it wrong. And their humor doesn鈥檛 make sense to you. Wash your mouth out鈥攖o your beloved zaide you say,鈥淔uck you?鈥�
It is said there are some benefits to being 90; I鈥檓 eager to discover them.
There are a number of clich茅s and myths about old people. Nonagenarians doze off a lot . . . .
They sit around all day and play cards. (Not me, except video poker.)
They don鈥檛 like new fashions. (I gave up wearing Hush Puppies in my eighties. Unfortunately my leisure suits are all too big now.)
They can鈥檛 keep up with technology. (Not me: I have the latest desktop, laptop, smart tv, smart phone. 聽聽Even my new smart refrigerator sends me emails. I have to get new [devices]鈥擨 could never figure out how to get the old ones to work.)
The Australians refer to retirement age as superannuation, which sounds to me like 鈥測ou鈥檝e lived too 聽many years.鈥� In England retirees ride free on public transportation. We never figured out how you pay anyway. The ticket collector says it鈥檚 ok gov, ok lov.
As the immortal Shell Silverstein said, being 90 is very much like being swallowed by a boa constrictor.聽 Fortunately mine started at my feet and is slowly moving up.
And isn鈥檛 it strange that we refer only to dead people as The Immortal?
Jewish people have a blessing, 鈥擬ay you live to be 120鈥� or is that a curse?
George Bernard Shaw is quoted as saying it鈥檚 too bad youth is wasted on the young. My response is, and it鈥檚 too bad old age is inflicted on the elderly.
And so to conclude, for those of you who are not yet middle-aged, my advice to you is, Don鈥檛 wish your life away. If you wait too long to do the things you really want to do, you鈥檒l wind up with a lot of regrets instead of memories. For those beginning to approach retirement, my advice to you is to keep on keeping on. That鈥檚 what keeps your mind and body active. And don鈥檛 retire, reengage鈥攖hat鈥檚 what Yetta and I have done.
For you young people in your seventies and eighties, you too have a good chance of becoming 90: a better chance than I did. You might live to 100.
As they say, getting older beats the alternative鈥攐r does it?
Perhaps the biggest blessing of reaching 90 is sharing in my grandchildren鈥檚 achievements and getting to know the great grandchildren.聽 My wish to all is be good to each other. And remember your roots. As the whiz says, it’s not enough to know where you鈥檙e going. You鈥檝e got to remember where you鈥檙e coming from. 聽尝鈥檆丑补颈尘, To life!
Ken Goodman celebrated his 90th birthday on December 23 and several members gathered to celebrate him and his impressive body of work late last month. Ken has been a leader within 起点传媒and its associated groups for several decades and is the recipient of many of our top awards. He and his wife Yetta Goodman were the founders of the Whole Language Umbrella and have been tireless champions of whole language instruction for more than half a century. In this blog post, Ken describes what it鈥檚 like to be 90 and offers advice for those of us who haven鈥檛 reached that milestone yet. (In this photo Ken is pictured with WLU president Roxanne Henkin at last summer’s Literacies for All Summer Institute.)
- (Arizona Jewish Post, December 14, 2017)
- (Language Arts, Vol. 73, November 1996聽by Jerome C. Harste and Kathy Short)
- (Language Arts podcast, 2012 with Yetta Goodman, Ken Goodman, and Bess Altwerger)